you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
