We need to rekindle our bromance
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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