I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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