What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
