Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
