Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
...so i touched it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
