i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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