Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
