You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
