That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
