I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
