So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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