Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
