the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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