drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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