Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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