i just wanna soil my oats bro
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
