You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
