I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
