its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
