Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pants are for mortals
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
