he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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