apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
