just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
