my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
