Where did you get a picture of my penis
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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