so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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