We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
