Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
People in love make me want to vomit
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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