so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize