there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
