ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
