I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
