i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
