You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You need a sexual gate keeper
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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