He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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