...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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