If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
