He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
