And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
