Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
