She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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