And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My vagina just recognized that song.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
