her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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