She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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