you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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