i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
