omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
ttyl tear gas
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
