oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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