dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
