One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
